Example 1
Jen Averill: Renowned coach utilizes loss and adversity as a means to grow and learn
Jen Averill is one of the most successful field hockey coaches in America, earning a combined total of eleven national and conference Coach of the Year titles wow! and a combined seven championship trophies (four ACC and three NCAA). Averill’s accomplishments have propelled her to become one of the most winningest coaches of all-time. (field hockey? Or all sports? Be clear)
Despite her myriad accolades, Averill attributes her success to the loses and tragedies, both professional and personal, that she has experienced over the years. She claims that overcoming adversity has had the biggest impact in shaping her coaching philosophy, her purpose, and her desire to continually learn and grow. Excellent opening.
You’ve been described by your players and colleges as charismatic, boisterous and passionate. Many would be surprised to learn that the Jen they too often hear coaching at Kentner has faced a great deal of tragedy and loss between the passing of your former player and your brother. In what way do you think those losses have shaped you as a person? Great context in setting up your first question.
I think it inspires me to find the positives in life. I think that while others look for escape and thrills, I look to constantly educate myself and grow, as well as develop those around me. I’m always searching for my own why. Why I’m here? Why do I do what I do? It gives me a sense of purpose and orientates me.
It’s really easy to get caught up in the society’s pressures, the wins the losses, to be critiqued, to be generalized, classified as great because you win. To me, having those losses and seeing life from life has been so helpful in self-examination and making sure I never deter from fundamental values and philosophies.
What are those philosophies and values you mentioned? Great folo
For me, it’s using sport to help develop people. That’s what she does best. You are a manager of people. Sport is supposed to be about playing and so I’m here wondering how I can teach these guys healthy habits that won’t just happen in four years but will be life-long habits. The best coaches share this philosophy, but it’s a tiny group….
In what ways does your philosophy about life and adversity translate to your coaching style?
I feel that the harder the fall, the greater the gains. If someone’s adversity is the lack of playing minutes in a big game as opposed to someone who blows an ACL or loses a loved one, it pales in comparison. I don’t want to downgrade it because it’s their reality, but I think that… though unfortunate, grief, tragedy and adversity can propel people’s will. Great candor and empathy in this answer
During the 2017 preseason you enlisted the help of two Marines to take the team through intensive exercises both physically and psychologically. Was this a way of exposing the team to adversity?
It was a threefold process. Number one, I felt this group out of any group I have coached over the past decade needed difficult shared adversity for them to find themselves. I wanted them to lead themselves and not us to lead them. Secondly, we have a communication problem. Whether that’s listening or actually verbalizing the words, what a great application to understand and appreciate the value of communication. And third, our ability to disagree, our ability to have conflict not be viewed with negative connotations but as a way to find a solution. Good insight into an interesting strategy
That was probably the most succinct answer you’ve ever given, well done! GREAT!
Thank you! I can see Jen actually appreciating your compliment, even in a joking manner.
Megan Anderson, the current captain of the team, characterized you as a “weed that grows through the concrete,” inferring that you can thrive in conditions in which others would fail. What are your thoughts on being portrayed as such?
I think that’s awesome, I think it’s completely unique. It strips me down to the rawness of my existence. I feel like I am incredibly blessed, like I was born with some intangibles. I innately believe in people and I truly think I can move them or lead them to places where they may not even believe they can go. I feel like my grittiness has been a byproduct of my environment. I have never accepted no. I am solution orientated, the more you say no, the more I want to prove you that it should be yes. I often wish I could’ve been a player on Jen’s team. This answer explains why…
Why do you feel the need to prove something? Great question
I find it challenging. I try to strip the ego away. I also believe that you have to be careful that you don’t throw your will upon somebody and I never try to do that. I see it as a way in, to open people’s eyes, ears, hearts and ability. If I were to inherit Wake Forest, a successful program that’s made it to the championships, I’m not comfortable there, I want to be the one that builds it, that breaks down those barriers. I love to build, and I love to grow and its hard as hell to bloom every year. nice
So, is that why you seem to take an underdog mentality even though you have been so successful? Great insight in that question…
I think humility is at the foundation and you can always grow and you can always be better. You can be a better teammate you can be a better coach. I’m always growing and the day I don’t, I have to watch out. It’s actually a void I don’t look forward to hitting.
Are you afraid of getting to that point and what does that mean for the future?
Yeah… but I’ll probably get there when I’m around 80.TRUE! Jeez, what a lonely place to be.
At the same time though I think back to the adversity I’ve faced and just think you’ve got to have fight. You have to have a direction, you have to have your why. Your why has to constantly evolve. It can’t be sedentary or obsolete, or absolute. I’m always figuring out my why. Perfect ending, tying back to an earlier answer.
Example 2
Playing Princess Allows for an Escape
Not many college students can recall at time in high school when they were sitting in their car, dressed as Elsa from Frozen, making the most of the time between stints at children’s parties to get some homework done.
Sophomore Maren Morrisisn’t like most college students. During high school and her freshman year at Wake, she ran two different princess companies, where girls dressed as princesses go to various events. She also dressed as a princess herself.
So tell me a little bit about what you got you involved in “princessing.”
Freshman year of high school, my youth group was planning to go on a mission trip to Costa Rica. We had an auction, and we all had to provide a service to auction off. And some people were doing like lawn-mowing and like babysitting, and my friend and I just got to brainstorming.
And we were like, you know what? What if we offered like a one-off princess appearance for free? Someone will bid on it…
We did it, and after that one party, it just kind of took off.
What was the driving motivation to keep with the business?
I’ve always had a fascination with the face characters at Disney World … And I’ve always loved acting too, so it seemed like a good melding of the two …
Honestly, yeah you get paid, but that was not even the main reason that I wanted to do it. Being able to like see these kids, who were as obsessed with the princesses as I was and still am, just get so hype over it, was an awesome thing. I like how you’re capturing the way she speaks…
But from an acting standpoint, it is so cool to put on this dress and this wig and go perform. And for an hour you’re not yourself, you’re Ariel or Cinderella.
Which is magical. And weird.
It is magical. (And yes, weird, too) Laughter
It sounds like being able to be someone else other than yourself is part of the appeal.
Yeah. I’m always curious to see what it’s like to be someone else and their stories … I think it’s just like an innate curiosity of stories, the world, and of people. That’s the driving force.
I understand you had some health struggles last year. You took medical leave for a semester and stopped “princessing” completely. What was it like to stop doing something that was such a big part of your life?
It was very bittersweet. I had a really bad case of mono over the summer before this year started, and I went on medical leave.
Even though I was on medical leave, I was kind of doing parties on the weekends just as a way to kind of like retain some sort of normalcy. Plus, it was just an escape to get out of my pajamas and put on a corset, and makeup, and a wig. Great details!
I decided in September … with my health, I felt like God was telling me, it’s time to close this chapter. And I was very confused by that, because like you said, it’s such a big part of my life …
I felt like God was telling me, I know you love this, but it’s time for you to pursue other things. It’s just the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.
Have you found any other outlets that allow you the same ability to escape, or be someone else?
So one of the reasons that I felt kind of called away from it is that I have always wanted to act, ever since I was little …
As much as I love the princesses, playing Cinderella isn’t going to help you learn how to create layers of a character if you’re playing a serial killer.
I had to step aside from that structure of playing a princess. So, I’m finding new ways to continue to hone the acting thing and delve into new characters that don’t have the bottom-line princess thing.
I’m doing a lot of short films here on campus. I’m in a web series for Wake TV, which is coming out in a few weeks. And I am, next year, going to try to get into some theater stuff more because I haven’t been feeling well enough to do that this year.
I love to write too, so that’s another outlet.
To come up with a story and all of these different characters, and live through them in different ways – that’s also been another way to manifest it. And I think the writing and the acting go hand in hand with understanding the character, their story, and their backgrounds. This answer loses me. It goes on too long.
Finally, I have to ask, since it seems like you take the time to really think about these characters. Who is your favorite princess?
I didn’t play her much. She doesn’t get much love anymore because she’s old. But Snow White has always been my favorite. Classic choice.
Everyone always gives me crap for it … and I’m, like, hold up. Her stepmother tried to kill her.
But she, through all the adversity, maintained the most positive attitude and retained kindness and didn’t let anything, any of struggles, create any sort of bitterness in her. And I have always admired that positivity. I’ve seen how there are things that she does that I would like to fit into my own life.